A Positive Perspective

It is important to maintain a positive perspective while living with a chronic illness or disability. Life still happens; you have a family to raise, a marriage to nurture, work to be done both in and outside of the home. Here are some ways to help you stay focused on the positive.

Keep things in perspective
It is easy for the illness or disability to become the main focus of your family's life. Work on keeping the illness as only a part of your life. Do not let your life be defined by the illness or disability. Keep up with family, friends, activities, and everyday life.

Keep the family routine
Work to maintain your family's "normal" routine as much as possible. If you used to coach your son's basketball team continue coaching. Go on vacation, go to family gatherings, have the birthday parties. Schedule time together, as a family, that is not involved around the illness. Schedule time away with your spouse. Stay connected with your other children. Talk with them, listen to their needs and concerns; help them to learn how to deal with their sibling's illness. Have fun and laugh together as a family. What you do and how you act, as a parent, will be a great example for your children.

Manage the illness
Work on ways to manage the illness as you learn to cope with the day to day challenges. Stay organized with your medical information. The Coming Home Medical Organizer is a great tool to help you organize and maintain all of your medical information. Communicate with your family, doctors, schools, what your needs are. Work on things that you can control, meetings, doctor appointments, activities with your children, taking a day off. Let others help you. Create a network of support from extended family, friends, your church, and neighbors.

Helping Others
Go outside of yourself so that the illness does not eat you alive. It is easy to become so wrapped up in the "illness or disability" that you can lose sight of everything else around you. Helping others will help to take the focus off of you and put it on someone else. Make a meal for someone, volunteer at your church or school, give of yourself to someone in need.

Take care of yourself
This is a must! Talk with other parents, do something you enjoy, find someone to vent to, take breaks, spend time with your spouse. It is important to renew, refresh, and recharge your batteries so that you have the strength to carry on.

Be thankful!
Be thankful for your life and what you have. There will even come a time where you will be thankful for the illness or disability, what you have learned from it and how strong you really are. Show appreciation to others. They may have helped you through prayer, encouragement, gifts, or their time but thank them for how they have helped and supported you.

Penny Hanlon
www.cominghomeguide.com